Reflections on Community from The Joy of Thriving While Black
“Ubuntu is very difficult to render into a Western language. It speaks of the very essence of being human.... It is to say, 'My humanity is inextricably bound up in yours.'” —Desmond Tutu
From Chapter 4. Community
“What I have learned from experience, my clients and my research is that the happiest people in the world, those who are thriving, are a part of close-knit communities. Running for eighty years, the Harvard Study of Adult Development is one of the world’s longest studies of adult life. According to an article in Harvard Gazette covering the study, “Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives. Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes.”(1) That’s not surprising. The sense of belonging is a fundamental need that not only makes us feel good emotionally but also keeps us safe, literally.
For me, a community is made up of people who have common values, attitudes and goals and agree to support one another. It can include family members, friends and people with whom we work and volunteer. We can also build community through school, sports or faith communities. There are endless organizations we can join to build community with like-minded people and advance our goals. It used to be that community members lived in close physical proximity to one another, but technologies like cell phones, social media, and video conferencing have changed that…
My community has really held me up during some really difficult times. When my mother passed away in 2009, I was running with Urban Run Club weekly. I can remember how good it was to show up to see my friends every week. It was so grounding at a time when it felt like the ground was shaky beneath my feet. I often ran and cried.
Having my people by my side in the best of times has been equally important. It means everything to me to know that they are by my side cheering me on. I have experienced that so much over the course of my life, but in 2020 it was critical. I went from launching a business to living in a pandemic and deciding that I should also write a book. I literally could not have done it without the endless love and support of my community.”
Questions for Reflection
How do you define “community”?
Who can you turn to for support any time of day or night? How do you nurture those relationships?
What communities do you belong to, and how do they nurture you?
Are there groups that you stay active in purely out of obligation? What would your life look like if you could redirect that time and energy elsewhere?
Do you see a need for a type of community that doesn’t yet exist? If you feel drawn to create it, who can support you? Who can serve as a resource or collaborator?
From The Joy of Thriving While Black, by Charisse M. Williams